Building Walls of Unfaithfulness

A few weeks ago, I was out of commission. If anyone reads my health blog may gain a better understanding. I have injuries that rendered me stuck in bed for a week. Despite the mostly happy attitude that I mostly project, this is not always the case. I have been struggling to come to terms with what has been happening to me and I had built a wall between myself and God.

I am unsure of what God's purpose is for me to share this. I've felt drawn to the book of Hosea. Hosea was a prophet who was commanded by God to marry a prostitute as their marriage was an illustration of the relationship between God and Israel; God's faithfulness and Israel's unfaithfulness. The reason I felt drawn to Hosea was because I felt like that unfaithful wife; I had placed other things in my life above God and not addressing my issues, my injuries kept me from God. I kept focusing on the bad stuff. All I saw was my unfaithfulness and what I perceived as God's judgement over my life.

Gomer (Hosea's wife) chased after men, just as Israel went after false gods; serving Baal and many others. God stripped them of their possesions Hos 4:1-2, 18-19 Hear the word of the Lord, you Israelites, because the Lord has a charge to bring against you who live in the land: “There is no faithfulness, no love, no acknowledgment of God in the land. There is only cursing, lying and murder, stealing and adultery; they break all bounds, and bloodshed follows bloodshed. Even when their drinks are gone, they continue their prostitution; their rulers dearly love shameful ways.  A whirlwind will sweep them away, and their sacrifices will bring them shame.

I missed the redemption part of Hosea, which by the grace of God I have through Jesus. My injuries are still present and whilst I don't doubt that God can heal or give me the strength that I need to continue, I have learnt as Job did Job 42:1-6 Then Job replied to the Lord:“I know that you can do all things no purpose of yours can be thwarted.  You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?  Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”

So, God has given me perspective and peace, despite the ills my body is still in. If you're struggling with anything, I encourage you to spend time in prayer and seek God, because He can give you His spirit of peace. I also encourage if you are deep in sin and have built a wall between yourself and God to seek assistance, prayer and repentance. Turn to God's Word for His love and encouragement.

Honest Beginnings

I was hoping that with this blog, I could share with people my beliefs, and opinions about God. So many people have opinions about God, that He doesn't exist, or that we are our own gods. Whatever people believe, my God told me to tell the world of His Good News, which is of His love for humanity and what it ultimately cost Him.

Before I can do that however, I need to be honest; I am not perfect, nor will I ever will be in this lifetime. I have been saved by grace but that doesn't mean I'm not exempt from temptation and sin. The difference, for me, is that I have been saved by God's grace; He has forgiven me, my past, my present and my future.

Actually, I've been struggling recently. Yeah, even Christians struggle. I haven't been praying as much because of some health issues I've had recently, and some emotional scars that I need healing for. Why not? Because, like everyone, I want to escape. I want to hide underneath the blankets and not let anyone in. I suppose in a way, that's the annoying thing about being a Christian; Jesus is still there, waiting for me to come out under the blankets to comfort, encourage and when necessary, reprimand.
It sucks to feel like that, like there is no control. Technically, that's what I've got Jesus for, but there are days where I feel so far away from Him - and that's because I've distanced myself from Him. But (there is always a but) I find myself crying out, and I find that God listens. And for that, I believe all the praises in the world should go to Him.